My bag broke while I was getting out of the shuttle and rushing onto the Fremont train just barely missing it. It was a fairly new bag and during comm class I saw saw that the handle was already ripping, but disregarded that and put it aside. This whole day just sucked and lately I've been questioning my selection in going to SFState. In all honesty, though I have met some pretty chill people and it's been well over a couple of weeks into the second semester, I still have yet to find a niche in the school. Although I am affiliated with PACE and have met some people through that organization, I still feel as if I'm just there, not fully engaging and interacting with the people themselves because they're already so tight knit.. and though the people are cool there are times where I do feel left out. As happy as I am for Bianca and Lance in their decision to intern, each having their own "group" so to say, it's rather difficult to get to know someone there when they already know much out of one another. It also bothers me how much of the people there frequently associate me as always being with lance. I mean yeah he's my friend and all, but because he does one thing, doesn't mean that I'm always going to do the same. I know that they're just concerned, but sometimes it gets irritating when i am a completely separate individual with my own decisions that are not necessarily influenced by some other person.
It's hard to explain. But I guess you can say that this song (minus the guy they mentioned in this song) and what had happened today sums it up. It's called bag lady (by erykah badu) and like the song dictates, I am carrying a load of stuff on me if you've known me well enough to know what has gone on in my life. I've kept my guard up and hopefully the bag that broke symbolizes the coming of something new, something different, and something enjoyable...like a new bag maybe, haha jk!... I'm just tired of going to school not feeling welcome.
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Change in topic, sry.
By no means was I trying to eavesdrop, but it's just funny how the least of strangers can be connected through experiences. I was just walking around by myself to class and couldn't help but hear over people's conversations that I can relate to and comprehend. Two friends were walking in front of me, one of them happened to talk to the other saying that she doesn't want to break up with her boyfriend because of that comfortable factor after being together for so long. While waiting for the shuttle after all my classes, I overheard two girls talking amongst themselves about their boyfriends. One girl talked about how she got the sweater she was wearing as a gift from her boyfriend, but it wasn't really her style. They go on talking about what kind of style their boyfriends have and it was really interesting just hearing their take on what's appealing. For one of the girls, she liked the more clean cut look with the "DKNY" pants, as she said, and a collared shirt which happens to be her boyfriend's style. I thought it was funny when they asked each other if their boyfriend dresses "ghetto" cause apparently they both didn't like that. Lol. They were funny. I wanted to converse but i didn't want to make it seem like I've been listening in for that long. hahah.
Tomorrow there's practice for jotabol, a traditional Filipino folk dance. Hopefully that goes better than the swingchop did.
Well, that's it for today, this was kinda lengthy.
Thanks for reading guys.
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